1. Puking in a Kopp’s Custard Shop bathroom is NOT fun.
2. Moving sucks.
3. You don’t have to keep your house spotless, no matter what your mother says.
4. It becomes all about them and less about you. Okay, never about you.
5. It’s okay to want pretty things. And then to buy them for yourself.
6. After you have a baby your hair will fall out in clumps and you will wonder if wigs are itchy and hot and if you could get away with wearing one.
7. You must read Parenting with Love and Logic. Pick your favorite things to do and do them.
8. Babywise isn’t the only way to train your babies. But it worked for us. So, it’s our way.
9. Dave Ramsey isn’t for everyone. BUT, saving money and not having debt is. Find something that works for you and do it.
10. It’s not fun to spend a fortune on watering your lawn when all your neighbors are letting theirs go dormant because of the “Wisconsin Drought of 2012.” I just made up that title. They aren’t calling it that yet, but they will. And I will take full credit for them using this phrase. News media better get ready to compensate me. So we can pay our water bill.
11. Sometimes you will pee while puking. Then as you get more pregnant and you are still puking, you will wonder which to do first: Pee and throw up on the floor, or puke in the toilet and have to change your clothes.
12. It is okay to give your kids popcorn and orange juice for supper once. But not twice. That would be totally wrong.